The Cool Twins

Definitely Not Twins. Occasionally Coordinated. Always... Shrubbing?

Who Are We?

Picture of the Cool Twins

We're a brother and sister duo! Despite occasionally dressing alike (don't ask) and weirdly doing similar things completely by accident, we are *definitely not* twins. We just share questionable taste, a questionable sense of humor, and a love for slightly bizarre projects. Basically, we're probably the best brother and sister shrubbers out there (or at least the most enthusiastic).

We recently acquired a plum tree and decided the world NEEDS large-format, slightly panicked bonsai. Or maybe topiary. We're not sure. Large-format Bonsai-adjacent Shrubbery...

"We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Peng, and Neee-Wom!"
- Okay, maybe not those words. But we *do* like shrubs. A lot.
We Want... A SHRUBBERY - by Chris Rallis.jpg
We Want... A SHRUBBERY - by Chris Rallis

Our highly scientific project methodology is:

T.O.P.I.A.R.Y.
  • Think: "This seems like a good/terrible idea."
  • Observe: Stare intently at the subject (plant, object, unsuspecting sibling).
  • Panic: Realize the full implications or lack of planning.
  • Initiate: Just start cutting/gluing/digging anyway.
  • Assess: "Huh. Well, that happened."
  • Relish!: Admire the results, regardless of objective quality. Maybe with snacks.
  • Yearn: Immediately start thinking about the *next* questionable project.

Our Glorious Projects Under Construction

April 06, 2025

Project: Plum Tree ASMR (Aggressive Shrubbery Modification Routine)

So, we got this plum tree. It was just... a tree. Boring! We decided it needed *character*. Specifically, the character of a windswept ancient warrior clinging precariously to a cliff face, but, you know, in our backyard. And bigger than a normal bonsai.

T: "Let's make it look like a giant bonsai."
O: Stared at the branches for maybe 5 minutes. Pointed vaguely.
P: "do we know which branches are important?" "Are we going to break it?" "Is it falling over?!?"
I: BEND. PULL, GRUNT. Too much rope.
A: It definitely looks... different.
R!: Soon a lush canopy of plums will be dangling into our mouths!
Y: Hopefully plenty of blossoms to pollinate... Manually....

Wet shrubbing. It ain't much, but it's honest work.
Slightly terrified-looking plum tree post-styling attempt
Inspiration from the botanical gardens

No one else seems to be doing this "large format bonsai" thing. We're either geniuses or about to be featured on a "garden fails" website. Stay tuned.